Forgiveness

(this turn out to be a much longer post than i expected!_!)

I bought The Life of Mahatma Gandhi by Louis Fischer on 19^th April 2007.

It has 662 pages; I begin reading from the first chapter up till the middle of chapter eight at page 92. I decided to bring the book to Gohtong because I prefer to read it in solitude as I find it a heavy read in a city full of distractions as the mundane city task makes me forget the content of the book the moment I close the book.

But in Gohtong, I left it forgotten on the top of my many other books as I was distracted with sleeping in silence & comfort in the cool highland weather, also catching up with foreign films I purchase during my trips to Hong Kong & China. I attribute desperate need to recharge my energy with deep sleep and film inspiration to the 5 day bustling working week and also the 2 hours traffic that I have become accustomed to everyday going and returning from work, city drains energy and we are creature of habits, we allow it to happen and I find that I have no inspiration of any or motivation at any level to bring forth creativity in my duties, for example, work.

I resumed reading today because I ran out of French films to watch and desire some intellectual stimulation even though it was just food for thought, I don’t read it because I want to be like Gandhi, but mainly because it’s a biography of a person who lived with such passion in accordance of his thoughts and actions which are both coherent. Unlike us, in this world, we allow a deep gulf in between the words we said and the actions we take, we are creatures lying to ourselves because we allow our very own principles be compromised when external forces are too strong for us to be defied, we succumbed, and that is not Gandhi, and that is why I want to read and I gladly welcome it even though I may not put in practice, I am still able to acknowledge and be truthful to myself whenever the desire to break my own principal arises and having the awareness is slightly better than being ignorant, especially if I am not able to take the same course of the man beloved by so many.

I’m typing this in the middle of page 131 of Chapter 14, my reason is because forgiveness is a word that echoes strongly over this weekend for me personally, and even though the chapters doesn’t directly talks about forgiveness, but there are certain shadows of allowing oneself to trust another again, despite having disappointed by one.

The chapter recount the heat of the issue of ‘Black Act’, where  an ordinance is proposed that requires all Indian men and women and children over eight, to register with the authorities, submit to finger-printing and accept a certificate which they were to carry with them at all times. A person who failed to register will lost his rights to residence, and could be imprisoned, fined or deported. This was much like the I.C. we practiced today, but this act in those days were specifically against Indians (including Asiatic people, black, brown or yellow etc) and therefore no Indian could remain in the country and this feature of measure is also highly offensive to Muslims and Hindus, for example for an officer to freely apprehend women on the streets, by the way those were the two prominent Asian religion mentioned many times in the book, and I am fascinated by it. (page 103)

Yet, through compromise and negotiations Gandhi manage to convince General Smuts to alter the ordinance that it should not be by force but by voluntary registration. Gandhi returned to his people with this success yet they argued what if the General breaks his faith? It may sound very optimistic or naïve of Gandhi to say this, but it takes a man of such deep wisdom and compassion to say and act upon it “A Satyagrahi is never afraid of trusting opponent. Even if the opponent plays him false twenty times, the Satyagrahi is ready to trust him for the twenty first time”

Satyagraha, well, you need to read the book to understand fully, cos it’s a concept and to be interpreted on your own level of understanding. But basically Gandhi activities reinforce that that optimism about human nature is the starting post and because of that he can be at peace with himself and with others too.

Page 131 – Gandhi never despaired of the worst reprobate. He learned that one of his close associates was a government informer, later the man openly opposed Ghandi and yet when he became ill and impecunious Gandhi visited him and gave him financial aid. In time, the backslider repented.

It gives me renew faith of optimism even after being let down, even though not all will turn over as a new leaf, and I do personally find it hard to forget and forgive. Obviously I can’t apply exactly what Gandhi has practiced because time has change and the external forces are now stronger. But I can have my benchmark as well, I could weigh based on the good and the bad that I’ve experience with a person and to decide if I could allow myself to forgive him or her sincerely from my heart. 

If forgiveness is not sincere, it is a lie, and we may have lied many more times than we have lied to our teachers or parents, by forgiving others unwholeheartedly. It is a time for us to be aware of our words, thoughts and action and that it is coherent and honest of ourselves and the person asking for forgiveness, some you may never be able to forgive, and there is no harm in telling them that, maybe they’ve hurt you way too much, but those that you could, you’ve given a blessing without realizing it, to be honest for yourself and for the repentant. Repentant, I make them sound like criminal using the word repentant, haha. Yeah, I will continue to read now, I guess, 2 more pages.