Last Sunday of 2007

i guess i'll look back on year 2007,

on new year's day itself. in the meantime,

its a very very hot sunday, the last one in 2007.

i sit in my room, read, sleep, listen to my music,

doing nothing out of the norm, and yet, i know

i am not the same person stepping into 2008 soon,

because 2007 had been such a dramatic year.

i guess it was good to step outside for a while,

to have lunch with good ol' friends and watch a movie,

but i know i couldnt be bothered with the world around me,

not looking at anything or anyone or thinking abt anything,

i feel empty, its not sad, its not happy, its just empty.

and so i took a picture.

and another one in the evening,

cos i feel the same emptiness that has not changed,
but i know the current beneath is just waiting to erupt,

when i am ready to make a decision,

in the meantime, i just want to stay this way,

as an empty unbothered oblivious person,

on the last sunday of 2007.

until i hear from you, i'll stay this way.

FedEx-Emo

I've received numerous packages from friends b4,

(including you Alex.C, lol)

and I remember sending one to Ben.L

with all my heart to Florida...

and i always wonder if people feel the same as i do

when they receive my package....

BECAUSE TODAY, THIS CAME IN.

I really dunno what to say,

sincerity melts my heart,

I stare at the box so very long...

until i can bore a hole through it.

The 'cakar ayam' handwritting of Scott McKay

puts another smile + me rolling eyes

i look at the description....

books, frame, flag (????)

Scott did mentioned it was 'cheesy',

I opened the box very slowly,

I just stare and stop and

tear it open and stare again

not sure what to expect and

my heart is very very moved

The first thing that greeted my senses

was Scott's familiar Lacoste cologne

I took out the Calgary Flame flag, laugh out loud,

and the familiar smell is stronger still,

he prbbly spray cologne all over his room

thats why the smell on the red flag

my tears began to trickle down my cheek

suddenly I miss him 300% more.

i smell it in my hands when i put it back

Books

when I saw what he picked for me

Lonely Planet, Canada

tears came crashing my face

and that 'cheesy' boy,

frame a nice photo of both of us

thank god he didnt draw

any big heart shape or some cartoon

cos i'll be crying out loud by then

and there's a letter...

that i do not want to read right now

i am already crying like a baby

its so silly

but i am crying and crying and

i dialled his number

i dont remember the timezone

but i just dialled and he picked up the phone

im not even sure what i said to him

but i vaguely remember sniffing, wiping my eyes,

wiping my nose with my pyjamas, and saying,

"silly boy, why do you have to send this..."

and him with his half awake, half sleeping sound

"do you like it?"

"......sniff....sniffffff....."